The Letters Never Read
by aussiebabe290
Summary: "If anything happens, Ben, I want you to give these out. There's one for all my family and friends". Read and review. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Starting a new story when I leave the country in two days is not the brightest idea, but I had to write it. Its my take on the letters Nathan wrote, right before going under the knife. Read and review, **

**Rhyleigh xoxox**

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"_Mate, nothing's going to happen!" _

"_It's just in case, Ben! If everything goes well, I want you to get rid of them!" _

"_I'm sick of hearing about these stupid letters, Nathan! Just drop it!" _

It was a common surgery, he knew that. And he knew that it was risky.

That was why he was taking the precaution. Uncapping his pen, he poised it above the sheet of paper, unsure of what to write.

_Dear Mum, _

_I know you didn't want me to do this. But I had to, for Chel. We've only just met her- I want her to see Ruby grow up. I have the chance to save someone, to make a difference in the world, and I will. _

_You and Dad were always there for me, you've stuck by my side from day one. I know I didn't always act it, but I appreciate everything you've ever done. You two worked your butts off to send me to private school, something that Rachel and Ben never got a chance to do. I loved that school- and I didn't tell you that. _

_Do you remember the year I was eleven, and I came screaming towards you, after seeing the goanna? You provided the comfort no one else could. You always have. My entire life, that's what I appreciated the most. You never judged me, no matter what I did. _

_Do you remember my graduation? I do. Rachel came back from uni, and you cried. You were always proud of me, no matter what stupid thing I did. You cried more the day I moved out than you did at my wedding- and you were there for me when my marriage fell apart. _

_I love you and Dad more than anyone in the entire world, and I will love you forever._

_Your youngest son, _

_Nathan _


	2. Chapter 2

**I should have started this after I came back. But, it doesn't matter, its here now! Read and review, **

**xoxox**

* * *

Dear Dad,

I know I haven't always been the best son- but you've always been the best dad. You and mum have always been there for me, even when I didn't deserve it. You were there for me when I first met Sammy- and you threatened to disown me if I didn't marry her. That was the right decision for the time, Dad, but we grew apart. Out of the two of us, Ben has always been the more supportive for you and Mum, but I have always tried to make you proud. Do you remember when I was eight and the four of us (you, Ben, Granddad and me) went fishing for the first time? I had so much fun that day, it's one of my favourite memories.

The beach every summer is also the top of my list. We would go out into the water every day and you would splash around with me, Ben and Rachel, tossing us into the water until you couldn't move any more. Dad, I will never forget the moments like that.

I hope that you continue doing that, with Ruby- even if Ben is the one tossing her into the water. It's the memories like that that people remember, the memories that stand out forever.

Thanks for everything, Dad. I love you,

Your youngest son,

Nathan


	3. Chapter 3

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**xoxox**

* * *

Dear Rachel,

I know I've never actually said this, but I love you, big sister. No matter how much you and Ben teased me when we were kids (and still do), I love you, and nothing will ever change that. Remember when I was three and I cut off the hair of your Barbie doll? I'm sorry about that. You got me back, though, by taking my favourite dinosaur.

Whatever happened to it?

I know I haven't always been the best little brother, but I'm trying. Life is too short, I've found, to let petty childhood arguments get in the way.

Remember the year you were fifteen, Ben was thirteen and I was eleven, and we went to the beach? The goanna- you were right, I did go screaming to Mum. But afterwards, we were able to laugh over it.

Jake's the best for you, Rach, and if he asks, marry him. You deserve to be happy.

Do you remember when Mum and Dad went out for date night and Chrissy couldn't babysit (and we had convinced them that we actually hated all the other babysitters. The ones who looked like they ate small children.)? They left you in charge, and we had the best time. We put on a movie (I still remember, it was 'Home Alone'), and you made popcorn and Ben melted marshmallows over ice cream (still not sure how he managed that one), and we stayed up way later than we were allowed. Out of all the memories I have, of the three of us, that's one of the best.

And the next time Mum and Dad left you in charge, because you did such a good job? It started storming and we turned on every single light in the house, only to blow the power. And you wouldn't let Ben go outside and fiddle with the power box... probably a good thing, now that I think back on it. Mum and Dad came home to find the three of us under a blanket on the lounge, the big Dolphin torch our only light.

I remember, when we were kids, before soccer and netball games, how we would build a fort out of the lounge and blankets for our bed. Mum and Dad used to be against letting us sleep out there, but when they caved, we loved it. I loved it the most, because I was with my big brother and sister.

We didn't always fight, despite what Mum and Dad say. We were actually pretty good friends. For the most part.

Just remember, Rach, I love you. And I'll never forget the times we spent together.

Love,

Nathan


	4. Chapter 4

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**Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

Ben and Nathan hadn't gotten along, as kids. In fact, most of the time, they'd fight. But through the fights, there were memories. The summer holidays at Whiting Beach, the huge trucks Ben had scattered around their backyard, and the infamous cubby house Dave and Ted had built them. A small smile on his face, Nathan picked up his pen once more.

_Dear Ben, _

_Hey, big brother. You were always looking out for me, when we were kids- and I guess you still are. You were the one who let me into your house, after my marriage fell apart. You let me into your house, even though we spent a good chunk of our childhoods fighting and trying to show each other up. _

_I'm sorry for everything I did, Ben. I'm sorry for making Mum miss your football grand final. I'm sorry for making Mum and Dad work so much harder for me than they did with you and Rachel. But we had some good times. _

_Remember when we went to the beach, in the summer holidays? Splashing around in the water for hours, falling asleep on the sand when the sun went down. The summer holidays to Whiting Beach are probably my favourite memories, as a family. That and the barbecues Mum and Dad are always throwing. _

_Ben, when you and Melissa finally become parents, I want you to tell my niece or nephew about their Uncle Nathan. I want them to know who I was, even though we didn't get along. And I want them to know that I love them, even though I'll never meet them. _

_Do you remember your huge ride on Tonka truck, how we'd both sit on it and Dad and Granddad would push us around the backyard? Remember when it was really hot and Dad would get out the hose and spray all three of us? And, most of all, remember the cubby house? We've had some good times, Ben, and I'll always treasure those memories. _

_And I hope you will too. _

_Love, _

_Nathan _


	5. Chapter 5

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**Love Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

In his head, Nathan pictured the infant he had held only earlier that day. So innocent, so young. His little sister.

_Dear Ruby, _

_My baby sister. You have no idea, little girl, how much any of us love you. And I wish I would be here to see you grow up. I remember the day you were born, quite vividly- we all do. It was a drama in itself- but when we saw you, everything melted away. Ruby, you're so innocent and young, and have no idea about the dramatic family you were born into. Ruby, you have to listen to Ben and Rachel. While they muck around a lot, they love you and do their best to protect you. And I hope that no one ever lets you forget that you have two brothers. _

_You know your bedroom? I painted that pink. It was always the 'baby's room'- it was my room for years. But you're the baby now, and I don't mind giving up my bedroom. You deserve it, Rubes. Be good for the family, Ruby, they love you as much as I do. And that's a lot._

_I love you, Ruby Louise, with all my heart. _

_Your big brother, _

_Nathan _


	6. Chapter 6

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**Love Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

Nathan smiled, thinking about the first time Ben had introduced Melissa to their large, dysfunctional family. She had fitted right in, and Nathan had thought of her as a sister from that day on. There was not a lot that Mel hadn't witnessed, and yet she still agreed to marry Ben. She was his sister.

_Dear Melissa, _

_You're my sister just as much as Ruby and Rachel are. You were part of the family long before Ben proposed- you were there for our most trying moments. Family barbecues and holidays, you were there. _

_You looked absolutely gorgeous, waiting for Ben on your wedding day. Not the most traditional of couples, but we loved you nonetheless. And, I want to apologise for your engagement party. I didn't mean for any of the drama that broke out to happen. I was trying to hold it all in, for the lid to explode off that one after the party. _

_Thanks for everything you've done for both Sammy and I over the years- you and Rachel were Sammy's best friend, and you accepted me into your home after we split. I'll be forever grateful to you, Mel. There's nothing more I could ask for. _

_You and Ben will be absolutely amazing parents- I've seen you with Ruby, and she adores you. One day, you'll be looking down at your own baby in your arms. _

_All my love,_

_Nathan _


	7. Chapter 7

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**Love Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

Nathan had known Carbo for as long as he could remember- he had grown up with him, considering him as a brother since they were children. They were brothers, despite the teasing and digs towards each other.

_Carbo, _

_Mate, you're a brother to me, and you have to look after Ben and Mel. You're the single man once more, among the tartlet twins. They'll need you- you've always been there to look out for all of us. You're an unofficial Rafter, Mum and Dad have said that on many, many occasions. _

_You said that 2010 was going to be your year, to find a wife. Do you remember the summer you and Ben were thirteen, and you came on our beach holiday with us? You swore that year that you two were going to get girlfriends- all Ben got was sunburn. Those were the days. _

_Remember those days, and be the big brother to Ruby that you deserve to be- there hasn't been a baby around the house for a while. _

_Thanks for everything, mate_

_Natho _


	8. Chapter 8

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**Love Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

He hadn't known Jake for very long at all, but he knew he made his sister very happy. And he hadn't seen Rachel happy in a very long time. In his eyes, the two belonged together, and even though he wouldn't be there to watch her walk down the aisle, he wanted to make sure Jake knew his opinions on the topic.

_Jake, _

_I never thought I'd say this, but you are the guy for my sister. Every other guy she's dated, Ben, Dad and I have found faults in. You are pretty much perfect for her, so marry her and make her happy. There's been no other guy who can really do that._

_Don't hurt my sister- look after her, and let her know that I love her. You're part of the family now, mate. _

_All the best, _

_Nathan _


	9. Chapter 9

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**Love Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

Sammy was his first and only love. Many people had said they were made for each other, and they married young. It turned out that they were not meant to be, however, and were both upset when they split. But it turned out it was for the better- they were both better off without each other. At first, Nathan had tried to get her approval. It didn't matter how they had parted, a part of Nathan still loved her. So, his pen between thumb and forefinger, he began to write a letter to his ex wife.

_Dear Sammy, _

_I know our marriage is over, but I still love you. A part of me will always love you. _

_When I first decided I was doing this, for my grandmother, I felt like I needed your approval. Now, I've realised, even though I still love you, I don't really need your approval. Because I am going through with this surgery, no matter what anyone says. _

_Sam, I've loved you from the moment I first set eyes on you. But I was an idiot that night- and yet you came back. You came back after all the times I stuffed up, and for that I want to thank you. You helped me become the man I am- I was stuck up, avoiding my family with any chance I had. You helped me to see that family would be there for me when the rest of the world walked out- and they were the most important people in my life. _

_We had some good times, together. Redecorating our first apartment, redecorating my childhood bedroom to make it our own. The general banter we had with the family. I'll always remember that, Sam, because for a while, you were family. _

_so, Sammy, thank you. _

_And I will always hold a spot in my heart for you. _

_Nathan _


	10. Chapter 10

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**Love Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

Ted, his granddad, the older, wiser man in his life. for as long as Nathan could remember, he had admired Ted, and had told him things that he couldn't tell his parents, nor his siblings.

_Dear Granddad, _

_Do you remember when you used to take Ben, Rachel and me to the pools, when we were really little kids? We used to have competitions, to see who could hold their breath underwater the longest. Rachel always could- because she was the oldest and the leader. Ben always came up after me, because he was my big brother. I was the smallest, the youngest and always came up first. Granddad, I miss the days when things were innocent, before the complications of life took over. Everything seemed to simple and easy to handle._

_Life isn't simple, you said that all the time. It's only now that I understand what you mean. _

_Granddad, I love you so much, and want you to know that. I know no one wanted me to do this, but I had to, for Chel. I'll never forget the times we spent together- remember the summers at Whiting Beach? You would always chase us around on the sand, making us laugh, and didn't even complain when we buried you in sand. Keep those memories, Granddad, and make more with Ruby. _

_Love, _

_Nathan _


	11. Chapter 11

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**Love Rhyleigh xoxox**

* * *

Chel was the last person on Nathan's list- and the hardest for him to write to. The whole reason he was sitting at the desk, writing, was because of her. It was his idea to get the transplant in the first place, his idea to give away his kidney. She hadn't asked- she had tried to refuse, because it was a gift she had needed, but hadn't wanted from her grandson. Chel hadn't been a part of the mishmashed Rafter clan for very long, but it seemed she had been there for years.

So, racking his brain, he picked up the pen for the last time.

_Dear Chel, _

_I know we haven't known you for that long- but it seems like we've known you forever. You're our grandma- part of the family. I know you didn't want me to do this- you said it was too much of a gift. But I wanted to do this, Chel. I don't care what the others said; it was my gift to you. _

_So, Chel, use it well. Enjoy life. Life is a gift in itself. _

_All the love in the world, _

_Your grandson, _

_Nathan _

Nathan smiled, capping his pen and sealing the envelope. There were risks in everything- crossing the road, as he had pointed out to his father. He knew the risks of the surgery he and Chel were going to undertake- he had discussed it with the therapist often enough. But he knew, that if anything had happened, he was covered. He had a family that loved him, no matter what he did, and he was going to make sure they knew just how much he loved them.


End file.
